The parent playbook

Worry is not a plan. Here's a plan.

Three steps, in order. Nothing in this playbook requires spending money or giving your name — it's the calibrated way to tell heavy use from a real problem, and what to do at each stage. It works whether you're a parent or a partner.

1. 1

   Step 1 — this week

   Watch, and write down specifics

   Before any conversation, get calibrated. Note what you can actually observe: the hours (from the router or screen-time reports, not guesses), the sleep, the grades, what got dropped, what happens on interruption. Specifics are what separate heavy use from a real problem — and they're what a doctor will ask for later. “You're up at 3 most nights” lands; “you're addicted” slams the door.

2. 2

   Step 2 — a calm moment

   Have the daylight conversation

   Pick a neutral time — never mid-match, never at the bedroom door at 2 a.m. Name the specifics, not the character. Ask what the game gives them; escape from something is the most common honest answer, and it changes what kind of help fits. Agree limits together and make them predictable. The surprise router-unplugging ultimatum reliably backfires: an explosion, a workaround, and a kid who now hides everything.

3. 3

   Step 3 — if the pattern holds

   Bring in a professional, the ordinary way

   If limits keep detonating or school keeps sliding, that's past house rules — and it isn't a verdict on your parenting. Start with the family doctor or school counsellor, framed around sleep and mood. For a minor, ask about youth mental-health services and family therapy: often the most effective route, and you don't need the player's enthusiasm to start it — only their attendance, and sometimes not even that at first.